Why do we hate ourselves and is there any hope to help us like or even love ourselves?
Ladies and gents, stop putting yourselves down in front of the mirror, under your breath or out loud – whether alone, or, especially in front of your children – because they are 50% of you. You have influence over anyone else within your sphere of influence and this is a highly toxic way of thinking and living.
What kind of a message does it give to others when we do this because nothing will ever seem acceptable as everyone is so down on what God has made? Catch yourself when you say the words, “I hate myself, my bulges – wrinkles – nose, my hair looks awful, I am not as pretty as she is, her body is so much better than mine, my body as a man or my ability to provide or my masculinity is never enough.”
Most especially discipline yourself not to insult your intelligence and character with, “I’m such a loser, a failure, I never can get anywhere, haven’t accomplished anything, no wonder he left, who would want me, I blew it again you idiot, I could never be a good enough parent, my ideas will flop, my business will fail, there is no way to kick this habit, I’m doomed, it’s over, and never should have been born.”
… and on and on.
So I am sending out an edict from the KING to all the ladies and gentlemen of the land, with a royal signet ring seal and an order that reads >>>>
“STOP THAT. I, the Lord God, took time to think you through and put you together in My mind before the foundations of the earth and formed you in your mama’s belly. You are insulting My work with your thoughts and words and deeds. Your value and you’re worth does not lie in what you think of yourself or anyone else. It lies in what I say about you. I said to love others as you love yourself, so how can we be of any good to others if we can’t get the basic fact down that you are lovely and stunning in MY eyes? I hereby order you to LOVE what I made YOU to be for MY glory and no one else’s. Speak my truths and not that of the enemy. That’s an order. You are loved and adored every single day.”
I have been learning through a fabulous study with Dr. Henry Wright of the Be In Health Ministry in Thomaston, Ga. (www.beinhealth.com), that every time we self-deprecate, we are agreeing with an Anti-Christ spirit … oh yes we are … because Christ does not say these things about us! HELLO, so why are WE assuming we are qualified to say them?
Furthermore, that voice you hear may not be YOURS, but that of the enemy … it’s in agreement with an Anti-Christ mentality. It makes our negative view “a god and an idol” who rules our brain and then we make less than honorable decisions because our idea of what is worthy is skewed. Those decisions can grossly effect our lives and can escalate into serious illnesses in the body that are deemed “incurable” (nothing is incurable), cause us to hate and not forgive and put way too much emphasis on another imperfect struggling person to fulfill a need only God can fill.
We become numb and enable and soothe our numbness with food, medicate with alcohol, drugs, and meds, ignore the pleas of those around us that say they wish we could see ourselves from their perspective, race hard to find a way to defy aging, compete to win with others and not as a good sport, exercise to no avail, overcompensate with our jobs and income, overspend, and pressure and push a round peg into a square hole to the damage of everything around us. Simply because we are spinning out of balance inside of our beings and don’t know how to stop, we keep spinning around like a rat on a wheel.
Try this first, as it will change your life and watch how things turn around by substituting those words with, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am valued, the Lord has a big plan for my life, He took the time to create me and give me gifts, talents, and a skill set, no matter what my deformities, shortcomings, or sinful failures past present and even future might present as a deterrent.”
Secondly, pray about it as you say these words even if you are stuck in sin daily with an overwhelming stronghold. Talk to HIM anyway and He will deliver – He always does.
Thirdly, consider that your health could be a consequence of generational sin, your self attack, and issues of the past and present that are working against you total being rather than providing a way to help you thrive.
Fourthly, and I LOVE this one … Something a counselor has been helping me with has been radically effective in helping me soar above the trenches of despair and ruination. She told me to record my emotions for a few days or weeks every hour on the hour and acknowledge what I am feeling, and then …. do NOT judge them good or bad. They are emotions, feel them, acknowledge and accept them, lean into them and don’t stuff them. Shame is a big one I have wrestled with over anything small and insignificant all the way to the bigger emotions in life. I had NO idea I was on such a roller coaster ride every day until I recorded it, figured out what the emotions were tethered to, and then understood that it is not a shameful thing to do a basic thing God gave us … to feel. It’s ok to feel disappointment, fierce anger, wrath, pain, sorrow, joy, intimidation, attraction to and from things, and a repulsion to others and not have to skewer them as a means of killing them like they are little bad people and then hiding the bodies.
Yes, we are to be careful what we DO with what we feel, but the auto-pilot actions we take to numb feelings are far more threatening than to actually arrest the moment when we are hurt or praised or whatever, and accept it good or bad, and then go on in the next moment … without ANY shame or guilt. Pretty soon the numbing agents listed above will lose their power as we begin to crave less and less the things we think are helping us hobble along. The Lord meant for us to run valiantly in overcoming and not just muddle through like an invalid to be transformed by the renewing of our minds as the book of Romans, chapter 12:1-2, reminds us in the Word of God.
Worthiness does not lie in whether a marriage or any other relationship failed or not, whether or not you stepped out in an affair or almost did, that you gained all that weight back and the scale is screaming that hideous number, what your parents or a bully said when you were younger or still say to you now, or the way a boss treats you, what a stupid magazine says you should be like, or what your spouse says. It does not lie in the fact you were sexually molested or raped, or that you were overlooked on the ball team for a position, what the size of your britches are, the fact you skipped the prom because you were not invited, or the numbers of zeroes on your income or your scale, or even how YOU treat you.
Exercise some compassion and kindness on your life and soul and watch how chasing out negative self talk will lift your life out of the pits of self-destruction. It will take awhile to redo and rethink. To reposition your ammo as a warrior over darkness rather than one who is “managing” their issues which only serves to set one back five steps for every single one they take forward toward victory.
Slow down, think, acknowledge, be reasonable with yourself, learn to say “no”, put up proper healthy boundary lines, divorce old voices, embrace your unique self HE made you to be – and yes, that can take time and it’s not easy to undo the damage the old voices did. The Lord SAID He had a plan for our lives, and we need to believe Him and rise above the mess that is pulling us down, although He uses those things and weaves those into the plan.
Note: I HIGHLY recommend counseling for anything you are dealing with and do your marriage, your heart, your singleness, your children, your business, and relationships a massive favor and study through the Be In Health material. You will find a depth of teaching like nothing you have ever seen before on healing from the inside out.
THINK ABOUT IT:
One of the greatest destabilizing forces we can create in any relationship is INCONSISTENCY.
Inconsistency says, “I don’t care as much as I say I do despite the declaration that I love/treasure/adore/care said person, my family, a friend, a group, a church, a business goal, or mission of any kind that I am supposedly committed to … Although I profess I am devoted to this or that and even put in the time and attention to prove that my intentions were such, I forfeit effective methods to keep things rock solid between us by not communicating regularly and with some predictability due to any little thing that comes along to derail my attention. It’s too hard to prioritize life, above lack of self restraint, immaturity, and loafing around with the lesser and most assuredly trivial. With my actions of neglect one minute, full engagement the next, and abandonment the very next day, I will leave you questioning my very character altogether that should put into regular practice sticking with the plan regardless of circumstances.
After all, in a scattered mind set, I have too many other obligations that I have involved myself in that could clearly have been prevented and only create more cluttered chaos to derail and swallow me whole. I would rather live diluted pursuing 101 things that nab my attention for 10 minutes than to whittle it down to a few things that matter and give all of myself to secure that trust that matters for a life time. You and what we have been working toward is simply not valuable enough for me to get my act together and grow up. I am to be a human BEING working in my realm of gifting that has no limits – opening up for more enriched depth with you by giving of my words and deeds out of a genuine heart, but instead pretend to be a super human DOER with an ADD riddled mind, which profits very little. Why invest my guts in to this anyway? It would be simple to exercise self discipline and think on how others are perceiving the message I am emitting from my actions vs my words or even lack of words. So, I will hobble along accomplishing a mole hill here and there leaving a trail of fragments of my good intentions, hurt feelings, and half commitments, that will be of little or no value, create a discredit of my memory and elusive presence, for anything or anyone in the long run, and most assuredly will sabotage my credibility as a person that cannot seem to fully engage in treasuring those around me flourishing where it really does count.”
Long quote, but the above thoughts should give us a quick insight how to tackle that mixed message we give others if we are indeed inconsistent:
- Prioritize projects already in the throws of commitment, and complete them fully before taking on something new. That means finish going through the mail stack, the laundry that is overflowing in that other room, and put human beings before tasks to start with such as your spouse and children and what they need you for and why. There is no amount of busy work that you will ever miss, but you will certainly miss precious time that flies by before your eyes if you don’t stop to care for family and friends that count.
- Communicate to those around you what your plans are, by a polite affirmative “no” so that they (especially those that don’t respect boundaries) are aware, “I don’t need anymore dirt on this already heaping pile.” Need I explain more here?
- Involve and delegate. I have found that one of the best moves I ever made in business was to stop doing my accounting. I HATE numbers and math makes my skin crawl, plus it leaves me depleted hunting for receipts, perusing bank accounts, and all that it requires. Once I turned this over and stopped believing I could save dough by doing it myself, I found out the opposite. I got a huge refund and saved thousands of dollars using a qualified monthly tax organizer and could breathe a long sigh of relief it was done right.
- Take time to rest in between tasks and work during your optimal hours. I work far and away better in the morning hours and can’t believe the sense of accomplishment I feel when I put exercise and time with the Lord FIRST, and then tackle business and everything else next. Something about the stabilizing supernatural involvement of the Word of God is reflective of God’s mercies that are new every morning, and when I take care of the engine that carries me, my body, I feel like a million bucks!
Happy consistency and feel free to comment or ask questions as you wish!
Cradle My Heart Radio welcomes counselor Rita Schulte
Unrecognized grief drives emotional and physical problems after we suffer the loss of a loved one. And the challenges to recognizing and releasing that grief are even greater if the loss includes abortion.
According to Focus on the Family, unfamiliar emotions while grieving go far beyond feeling sadness, and may include:
- Feeling physically drained
- Loss of appetite
- Inappropriate risk-taking
- Lethargy and over-indulgence
- Becoming withdrawn and apathetic
Raising awareness of the source of these changes is the beginning of our hope for healing.
This week–practical help from professional counsler Rita Schulte for the spiritual and emotional challenges we face in overcoming unrecognized grief. Rita is the author of Shattered: Finding Hope and Healing through Losses of Life.
From Rita’s bio:
Rita Schulte is a licensed professional board certified counselor with a B.S. in psychology and a master’s…
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This weekend marks the nationwide release of the film Return to the Hiding Place – sequel to the 70s World Wide Pictures release of The Hiding Place.
Make no mistake, this is not a digitally remastered version of the first, but rather a true story depiction of Corrie’s “youth army” workers, from the perspective source of the late Author, Hans Poley, who served alongside Corrie during the underground of the Dutch Resistance to Hitler’s regime in the Netherlands.
The film is spell-binding and loaded with action, suspense, tears, laughter, joy, and more – well worth the trip down memory lane to join that of The Hiding Place and also captures a superb account of the Holocaust from behind the scenes. All ages and races would benefit from this blessing of a film!
Four years ago I was asked by Spencer Productions who wrote, produced, and directed this sequel, to act as Publicist for the film – an undeserved privilege and position of honor of which I can never fully convey the gratitude. Dr. Peter Spencer, who wrote and directed, was introduced to Hans Poley in the mid 80s and a true brother hood of the spirit joined them for the work that lie ahead. They were fast friends until Hans went to glory in 2003 well aware of the efforts made for the film – all of 20 years in the making. Yes, 20 years. Dr. Spencer and his entire family have woven together a beautiful depiction of this story on film. Their labor of love and devotion to this piece is highly evident while being viewed and the exit interviews with remarks and exclamations of a job well done can be heard across the nation. Superb to say the least!
This request to do publicity parlayed out of the work done with Pam Rosewell Moore, who served as companion and nurse to Corrie ten Boom in the late 70s and early 80s. We met at a women’s conference in 1995 where Pam spoke a captivating and purely anointed talk from on high. Her book Safer Than A Known Way has influenced and changed lives for eternity and still plays a role in keeping the memory of Corrie’s ministry and message alive. A ministry that bears much weight and held in holy reverence by those that know and love the story she told surviving the concentration camps and learning forgiveness of the Germans. For more information see link: http://www.pamrosewellmoore.com
Fast forward 17 years and I found myself called by the Lord to go and “help her” (Pam) as I heard the Lord direct and soon before we knew it, there was an undeniable knit-at-the-soul union between us as sisters and co-workers in the ministry. Life has never been the same, hence, how I inherited a handful of priceless Corrie memorabilia along with her tea-cup, a treasure I will keep close to my heart for life. After a trip to Haarlem in The Netherlands with my beloved sister Pam, where I did some publicity work to promote the film from the scene of the action in time itself during the soft release in May 2014, we are now promoting the hard release this week in March and on into April 2015 for the US release found on http://www.rhptickets.com
On opening day of March 6th, yesterday, I imbibed deeply on my tea from Corrie’s cup, drinking to the honor of my beloved hero (who never wanted to known as a hero) and reflected with indescribable respect the story of Hans Poley. Two people who gave their best on behalf of those that truly did appreciate it. So many lives were spared while so many lives were given for the cause.
On behalf of Spencer Productions, we cordially invite you to participate in supporting this film with your attendance and please do know, this is beneficial to the believer, the unbeliever, the Jew or the Gentile, young or older. Get your viewing and be blessed: http://www.rhptickets.com. Theaters can be requested to show film in your area – see link for details.
By day Marcus Kazmierczak works as an engineer for Automattic on new product research; by night he heads out for photography. He writes about night photography at night.exposed. You can find more of his photography at mkaz.com.
The sun going down doesn’t mean you have to put your camera away. Night photography offers up an opportunity to take unique photos — often with surprising results. With long exposures, the camera captures light and scenes in ways that our eyes can’t; this makes night photography fascinating to me.
This guide will help you get started with night photography, including a few tips and tricks I’ve picked up while shooting at night. So if night is the only time you have free for yourself and for your photography, you can still get out there.
Tip: I wear fingerless gloves, which allow…
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Happy Eternal Valentines Day from the real LOVE of our lives