Hating Ourselves and How to Overcome It

Ladies and gents, stop putting yourselves down in front of the mirror, under your breath or out loud – whether alone or especially in front of your children because they are 50% of you, or anyone else within your sphere of influence. This is a highly toxic way of thinking and living.

What kind of a message does it give to others when we do this because nothing will ever seem “acceptable” as everyone is so down on what God has made? Catch yourself when you say the words, “I hate myself, my bulges – wrinkles – nose, my hair looks awful, I am not as pretty as she is, her body is so much better than mine, my body as a man or my ability to provide or my masculinity is never enough.”

Most especially discipline yourself not to insult your intelligence and character with, “I’m such a loser, a failure, I never can get anywhere, haven’t accomplished anything, no wonder he left, who would want me, I blew it again you idiot, I could never be a good enough parent, my ideas will flop, my business will fail, there is no way to kick this habit, I’m doomed, it’s over, and never should have been born.”

… and on and on.

So I am sending out an edict from the KING to all the ladies and gentlemen of the land, with a royal signet ring seal and an order that reads >>>> “STOP THAT. I, the Lord God, took time to think you through and put you together in My mind before the foundations of the earth and formed you in your mama’s belly. You are insulting My work with your thoughts and words and deeds. Your value and you’re worth does not lie in what you think of yourself or anyone else. It lies in what I say about you. I said to love others as you love yourself, so how can we be of any good to others if we can’t get the basic fact down that you are lovely and stunning in MY eyes? I hereby order you to LOVE what I made YOU to be for MY glory and no one else’s. Speak my truths and not that of the enemy. That’s an order. You are loved and adored every single day.”

I have been learning through a fabulous study with Dr. Henry Wright of the Be In Health Ministry is Thomaston, Ga. (www.beinhealth.com), that every time we self-deprecate, we are agreeing with an Anti-Christ spirit … oh yes we are … because Christ does not say these things about us! HELLO, so why are WE assuming we are qualified to say them?

Furthermore, that voice you hear … may not be YOURS, but that of the enemy … it’s in agreement with an Anti-Christ mentality. It makes our negative view “a god and an idol” who rules our brain and then we make less than honorable decisions because our idea of what is worthy is skewed. Those decisions can grossly effect our lives and can escalate into serious illnesses in the body that are deemed “incurable” (nothing is incurable), cause us to hate and not forgive and put way too much emphasis on another imperfect struggling person to fulfill a need only God can fill.

We become numb and enable and soothe our numbness with food, medicate with alcohol, drugs, and meds, ignore the pleas of those around us that say they wish we could see ourselves from their perspective, race hard to find a way to defy aging, compete to win with others and not as a good sport, exercise to no avail, overcompensate with our jobs and income, overspend, and pressure and push a round peg into a square hole to the damage of everything around it. Simply because we are spinning out of balance inside of our beings and don’t know how to stop it.

Try this first, as it will change your life and watch how things turn around. Substitute those words with, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I am valued, the Lord has a big plan for my life, He took the time to create me and give me gifts, talents, and a skill set, no matter what my deformities, shortcomings, or sinful failures past present and even future might present as a detourant.”

Secondly, pray about it as you say it. Even if you are stuck in sin daily with an overwhelming stronghold, talk to HIM anyway. He will deliver – He always does.

Thirdly, consider that your health could be a consequence of generational sin, your self attack, and issues of the past and present that are working against your health rather than providing a way to help you thrive.

Fourthly and I LOVE this one … Something a counselor has been helping me with has been radically effective in helping me soar above the trenches of despair and ruination. She told me to record my emotions for a few days or weeks every hour on the hour and acknowledge what I am feeling, and then …. do NOT judge them good or bad. They are emotions, feel them, acknowledge and accept them, lean into them and don’t stuff them. Shame is a big one I have wrestled with over anything small and insignificant all the way to the biggees I feel are unforgivable in my life. I had NO idea I was on such a roller coaster ride every day until I recorded it, figured out what the emotions were tethered to, and then understood that it is not a shameful thing to do a basic thing God gave us … to feel. It’s ok to feel disappointment, fierce anger, wrath, pain, sorrow, joy, intimidation, attracted and attractive, and not have to skewer them as a means of killing them like they are little bad people and then hiding the bodies. Yes, we are to be careful what we DO with what we feel, but the auto-pilot actions we take to numb feelings are far more threatening than to actually arrest the moment when we are hurt or praised or whatever, and accept it good or bad, and then go on in the next moment … without ANY shame or guilt.

Pretty soon the numbing agents listed above will lost their power as we begin to crave less and less the things we think are helping us hobble along. The Lord meant for us to run valiantly in overcoming and not just muddle through like an invalid.

Worthiness does not lie in whether a marriage or any other relationship failed or not, whether or not you stepped out in an affair or almost did, that you gained all that weight back and the scale is screaming that hideous number, what your parents or a bully said when you were younger or still say to you now, or the way a boss treats you, what a stupid magazine says you should be like, what your spouse says, it does not lie in the fact you were sexually molested or raped, or that you were overlooked on the ball team for a position, what the size of your britches are, or the numbers of zeroes on your income, or even how YOU treat you.

Exercise some compassion and kindness on your life and soul and watch how chasing out negative self talk will lift your life out of the pits of self destruction. It will take awhile to redo and rethink. To reposition your ammo as a warrior over darkness rather than one who is “managing” their issues which only serves to set one back five steps for every single one they take.

Slow down, think, acknowledge, be reasonable with yourself, learn to say “no”, put up proper boundary lines, divorce old voices, embrace your unique self HE made you to be, try “it” again 20 more times even if doesn’t work or learn to move on. The Lord SAID He had a plan for my life, and I believe Him but hating myself was only serving as a catalyst to push me deeper into Who He says I am and how forgivable He finds me.

Note: I HIGHLY recommend counseling for anything you are dealing with and do your marriage, your heart, your singleness, your children, your business, and relationships a massive favor and study through the Be In Health material. You will find a depth of teaching like nothing you have ever see before on healing from the inside out.

INCONSISTENCY

THINK ABOUT IT:
One of the greatest destabilizing forces we can create in any relationship is INCONSISTENCY. Inconsistency says, “I don’t care as much as I say I do despite the declaration that I love/treasure/adore/care said person, my family, a friend, a group, a church, a business goal, or mission of any kind that I am supposedly committed to … Although I profess I am devoted to this or that and even put in the time and attention to prove that my intentions were such, I forfeit effective methods to keep things rock solid between us by not communicating regularly and with some predictability due to any little thing that comes along to derail my attention. It’s too hard to prioritize life, above lack of self restraint, immaturity, and loafing around with the lesser and most assuredly trivial. With my actions of neglect one minute, full engagement the next, and abandonment the very next day, I will leave you questioning my very character altogether that should put into regular practice sticking with the plan regardless of circumstances.

After all, in a scattered mind set, I have too many other obligations that I have involved myself in that could clearly have been prevented and only create more cluttered chaos to derail and swallow me whole. I would rather live diluted pursuing 101 things that nab my attention for 10 minutes than to whittle it down to a few things that matter and give all of myself to secure that trust that matters for a life time. You and what we have been working toward is simply not valuable enough for me to get my act together and grow up. I am to be a human BEING working in my realm of gifting that has no limits – opening up for more enriched depth with you by giving of my words and deeds out of a genuine heart, but instead pretend to be a super human DOER with an ADD riddled mind, which profits very little. Why invest my guts in to this anyway? It would be simple to exercise self discipline and think on how others are perceiving the message I am emitting from my actions vs my words or even lack of words. So, I will hobble along accomplishing a mole hill here and there leaving a trail of fragments of my good intentions, hurt feelings, and half commitments, that will be of little or no value, create a discredit of my memory and elusive presence, for anything or anyone in the long run, and most assuredly will sabotage my credibility as a person that cannot seem to fully engage in treasuring those around me flourishing where it really does count.”

Soul Restoration

Originally posted on Ruth Graham's Blog:

Psalms 23 is a “go to” Psalm. We use it in so many situations – illness, funerals, uncertainty, sleeplessness…we turn to its familarity for comfort. Not only the familiarity but its truth that has stood the test of time and echoes down through the ages to our hearts in today’s world.

This morning I was reading it. There is a progression. First He is my shepherd. The all-mighty, all-knowing, Potentate of time is my shepherd. He knows me. I am His. He calls me by my name. He knows the very number of hairs on my head. He is tender with me. He delights in me.

He knows I am weary and tired. Tired from trying too hard. From uncertainty. From loneliness. From noise. From too much. Too little. Just weary. He knows so He makes me lie down. Sometimes when we get busy, running to and fro, we are…

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Overcoming barriers to grieving after abortion and other painful loss

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Originally posted on cradle my heart blog:

Cradle My Heart Radio welcomes counselor Rita Schulte

Rita Schulte Rita Schulte

Unrecognized grief drives emotional and physical problems after we suffer the loss of a loved one. And the challenges to recognizing and releasing that grief are even greater if the loss includes abortion.

According to Focus on the Family, unfamiliar emotions while grieving go far beyond feeling sadness, and may include:

  • Feeling physically drained
  • Sleeplessness
  • Forgetfulness
  • Loss of appetite
  • Inappropriate risk-taking
  • Lethargy and over-indulgence
  • Becoming withdrawn and apathetic

Raising awareness of the source of these changes is the beginning of our hope for healing.

This week–practical help from professional counsler Rita Schulte for the spiritual and emotional challenges we face in overcoming unrecognized grief. Rita is the author of Shattered: Finding Hope and Healing through Losses of Life.

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From Rita’s bio:

Rita Schulte is a licensed professional board certified counselor with a B.S. in psychology and a master’s…

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Corrie ten Boom’s Tea Cup: Revisiting the Hiding Place

RTTHP and Corrie's tea cup

This weekend marks the nationwide release of the film Return to the Hiding Place – sequel to the 70s World Wide Pictures release of The Hiding Place. 

Make no mistake, this is not a digitally remastered version of the first, but rather a true story depiction of Corrie’s “youth army” workers, from the perspective source of the late Author, Hans Poley, who served alongside Corrie during the underground of the Dutch Resistance to Hitler’s regime in the Netherlands.

The film is spell-binding and loaded with action, suspense, tears, laughter, joy, and more – well worth the trip down memory lane to join that of The Hiding Place and also captures a superb account of the Holocaust from behind the scenes. All ages and races would benefit from this blessing of a film!

Four years ago I was asked by Spencer Productions who wrote, produced, and directed this sequel, to act as Publicist for the film – an undeserved privilege and position of honor of which I can never fully convey the gratitude.  Dr. Peter Spencer, who wrote and directed,  was introduced to Hans Poley in the mid 80s and a true brother hood of the spirit joined them for the work that lie ahead. They were fast friends until Hans went to glory in 2003 well aware of the efforts made for the film – all of 20 years in the making. Yes, 20 years. Dr. Spencer and his entire family have woven together a beautiful depiction of this story on film. Their labor of love and devotion to this piece is highly evident while being viewed and the exit interviews with remarks and exclamations of a job well done can be heard across the nation. Superb to say the least!

This request to do publicity parlayed out of the work done with Pam Rosewell Moore, who served as companion and nurse to Corrie ten Boom in the late 70s and early 80s. We met at a women’s conference in 1995 where Pam spoke a captivating and purely anointed talk from on high. Her book Safer Than A Known Way has influenced and changed lives for eternity and still plays a role in keeping the memory of Corrie’s ministry and message alive. A ministry that bears much weight and held in holy reverence by those that know and love the story she told surviving the concentration camps and learning forgiveness of the Germans. For more information see link: http://www.pamrosewellmoore.com

Fast forward 17 years and I found myself called by the Lord to go and “help her” (Pam) as I heard the Lord direct and soon before we knew it, there was an undeniable knit-at-the-soul union between us as sisters and co-workers in the ministry. Life has never been the same, hence, how I inherited a handful of priceless Corrie memorabilia along with her tea-cup, a treasure I will keep close to my heart for life. After a trip to Haarlem in The Netherlands with my beloved sister Pam, where I did some publicity work to promote the film from the scene of the action in time itself during the soft release in May 2014, we are now promoting the hard release this week in March and on into April 2015 for the US release found on http://www.rhptickets.com

On opening day of March 6th, yesterday, I imbibed deeply on my tea from Corrie’s cup, drinking to the honor of my beloved hero (who never wanted to known as a hero) and reflected with indescribable respect the story of Hans Poley. Two people who gave their best on behalf of those that truly did appreciate it. So many lives were spared while so many lives were given for the cause.

On behalf of Spencer Productions, we cordially invite you to participate in supporting this film with your attendance and please do know, this is beneficial to the believer, the unbeliever, the Jew or the Gentile, young or older. Get your viewing and be blessed: http://www.rhptickets.com. Theaters can be requested to show film in your area – see link for details.

From Dusk till Dawn: A Night Photography Tutorial

Originally posted on The Daily Post:

By day Marcus Kazmierczak works as an engineer for Automattic on new product research; by night he heads out for photography. He writes about night photography at night.exposed. You can find more of his photography at mkaz.com.

The sun going down doesn’t mean you have to put your camera away. Night photography offers up an opportunity to take unique photos — often with surprising results. With long exposures, the camera captures light and scenes in ways that our eyes can’t; this makes night photography fascinating to me.

This guide will help you get started with night photography, including a few tips and tricks I’ve picked up while shooting at night. So if night is the only time you have free for yourself and for your photography, you can still get out there.

Conservatory of Flowers, SF. f/8, 20min, Fuji 64T Conservatory of Flowers, SF. f/8, 20min, Fuji 64T

Getting started

Tip: I wear fingerless gloves, which allow…

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