Are You Fully Dressed?

Are you fully dressed before you leave for the day? When does the enemy do his best work to find a vulnerable area? When we are not completely dressed. How can this happen?? Right after one has had a major triumph, when entering into ministry doing or about to do effective work, when a person is
H-A-L-T (hungry, angry, lonely, tired), or ill, or waiting patiently for something.

Get dressed in your full armor of God: Ephesians 6:10-18,
“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age,[a] against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places. Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God; praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, being watchful to this end with all perseverance and supplication for all the saints.”

Wanna-be Prophets

A word of warning …

Be ultra careful who you allow to speak into your life with a “word from the Lord” or something that has been “impressed” upon them specifically for you … I have learned first hand by experience and watching … many people don’t necessarily have pure motives that have a so called “prophetic gift” and end up wanting to be your savior, lord, and a controller, as opposed to pointing to Christ as being the ONLY Savior and Lord.

A telling sign of a phony is when their “prophetic gift” divides people that have long been joined by the Lord in a ministry, a marriage, or other work of God and within themselves they long to be in the place of the one they are jealous of operating out of a spirit of envy …. One can bet, without mistake, that this is one of the truest signs of a counterfeit prophet – hidden jealousy.

Doesn’t matter how sharp or bright they appear nor how much the one or many respects them, not everybody “has” that gift that “thinks” that they have it. That person may not even necessarily realize they are setting out to do harm either, as it could be a lack of fulfillment in their own ministry that leads them to steps to cannibalize the joy of another person or persons. The fruit of their mission will be very telling in the end.

A true prophet of the Lord will deliver in a spirit of love, and honesty, and will be abundantly confirmed by the fact that it WILL NOT divide what the Lord has anointed to be joined together. The more one is called to a ministry, message or relationship, the more joy and dedication that is involved, the more the enemy will send whom he can to kill, steal, and destroy. Let’s make sure we are not a false prophet being used by the enemy ourselves, and conversely let’s be sure to be in our full spiritual garb according to Ephesians 6 in order to discern falsehood when it presents itself by another so that we won’t fall prey to dividing spirit. jealous

Crushing Our Purpose

When people want to squash your purpose, question your calling, tell you that you “deserve” more or even less, and divert your direction from holiness … Remember this … Jesus Himself looked at Peter, His own disciple, who tried to stop Christ’s purpose on the cross, a disciple He had walked with, loved, and mentored, and said, “Get thee behind me Satan”.

So when we try to get in the way of God’s plan for someone either from jealously, making erroneous judgement calls of the Lord’s work for them, or exercising selfish pride that says we know “better” than the Lord Himself for another person … we need to keep in mind this example from Matthew 16:21-23. It’s a good thing the Lord had big plans for Peter later on as he was used mightily despite earlier on trying to stop eternal plans of the Savior of the universe Himself that would have changed the course of history for all of us.

What Christian Women Want from their Men …

Chass and Jerry's hands bible

It’s been a mystery for years for the fellas to figure out what it is a woman really wants, the mystery behind her sudden silence, vibrant mood changes, or simply what it is that causes her to become quiet and distant without explanation.

Being a completely imperfect woman I can only speak from the perspective of what personally makes me tick as a woman, not to mention incorporating a host of explanations carried in from my married and single friends. The goal is only to present this from the point of view of a born again Christian who truly attempts to seek the heart of God, and one who strives to reach emotionally maturity. So many women never attempt singleness for long as they are quick to depend on a man to fulfill a need that only our perfect Lord God, our Father and Husbandman, is entitled to fill.

I, for one, love being single, have never been married on purpose having turned down more than one marriage opportunity, but am careful not to say “no” to the Lord for His plan if He should ask me to enter into a covenant bond in the future. Some would rather die than live life alone, but allow me to offer this caveat to those in a hurry enter a nuptial agreement; by not waiting, one is robbed of the time to pray for and against items in marriage that so many only wish they had prayed for before they were married. It’s so worth the wait for the right man or woman, as so many friends of mine have confirmed, who did not rush into marriage earlier in life, and there has never been a regretful word I’ve heard about insisting and waiting on God’s best pick of spouses. Still,  it’s never too late to work on issues as a couple even if you are already “in it”. This blog serves a purpose on both ends of marriage for knowledge for before and after the “I do”.

This message is a communication aid for what this particular lady would love to see a marriage accomplish, which is to compliment our walk with Christ, and, enhance perspective ministries as a couple. With conviction and proof, we can attest that respect and love are the key components for success in seeking to help each other reach our fullest potential inside the borders of marriage, without inflated expectations and the work expected to be done on equal footing. There is no way every man can attain to ever part of this list, but if even a quarter of these wishes were fulfilled with the same expectation of women to fulfill what she can do to please the Lord and her man, we might have a much lower divorce rate from expressing what is is we really want as well as need.

What a Christian woman of God prays for …

1.  Genuinely Seeking the Will of God and Let the Holy Spirit Guide You:

Witnessing a man studying His Bible, or writing down a prayer request of a waiter, passing the offering plate as an usher, teaching a Bible Study, writing a blog for Christian men, praying as a family, reading the Bible out loud with his children before bed, expressing the meaning of Christmas being about Christ and not about gifts and more “stuff”, persuading other men to honor their wives, and anything else to pursue the heart of God is HUGE with a woman. This list is not exhaustive and it certainly isn’t expected that all of this happens at once, but you get the idea … a man who genuinely fears the Lord is a giant in the eyes of woman who also follows the Lord. These actions have to be real and not a facade as eventually the head game will give you away if the heart is not pure.

2. Security:

Security means “I can trust you” … not to leave me if I develop breast cancer or Alzheimers, as I certainly plan to return the favor if something happens to you my man. It means you will not squander life savings on a secret gambling debt but are actually planning for our family and future of our children. It means we tithe and trust. It means you won’t mess around with other women, especially when I have invested my entire life into you. If you plan to cheat, TELL ME, divorce me, whatever, but don’t try and fool me. Women KNOW when things are not ok.

We want to be able to look the other way and know that our men are mature enough to exercise self control with their minds in any circumstance, avoid temptation, and would trust us enough to admit when struggling in an area so we can BOTH work on it …  This is a challenge for both sexes to do this necessary step with each other. It means you will nurture that loving feeling along with me long after the butterflies are gone and won’t flake at the first or second or third sign of adversity.

As for the area of money, if you are the bill payer and dough keeper, please keep me in the loop where everything is and put my name on items if anything should happen to you. More women are left with a financial disaster after a man leaves her widowed due to the fact she is not even aware where the check book is, and deals with nothing in order on a will. Look out for me and for our family and let’s keep each other educated and well planned for the “what ifs”. Insurance policies and items written on legal documents, keys to safety deposit boxes with easy access, all spell out “I care even after I’m gone.”

And by the way guys, most women do have a keen business sense that would serve very well as your accountability partner in decision making about money, issues in the work place, not to mention, we can actually run a business ourselves and create substantial income. This is not a threat to you, it is a necessary area we like to manage for emergency funds, shopping needs so we don’t have ask permission for every little dime spent of yours, and allows us to help out the entire household.

3. Humor:

Not silly ridiculous embarrassing humor – but intelligent humor, cute comments, a funny card, a hilarious email, or repeating something adorable our children have said … that makes a woman melt. I am a big sucker for humor … but not at the expense of my body or what is dear to me or someone else we love. If you make a woman laugh … she will be putty in your hands. Endorphins are a key factor here. This quite honestly is ranked second to importance to me as your healthy walk with God.

4. Communicate with Me:

Tell me about your day after you unwind. I don’t have to know how many copies you made on the copier, I just want to know if you are feeling fulfilled with your job, ideas or plans for our business we have built together, and value my input as important as your own. I am your team mate and your biggest cheer leader so give me something to cheer about and do know that the Lord gives women discernment about things men simply don’t have, just like you guys are gifted in ways we women are not gifted in. Don’t Lie To Me – just be honest. When you talk to me and stimulate my MIND … I am all YOURS. Get it?

5. Don’t Compare Me To Other Women and Don’t Correct Me In Front Of Others Unless It Is Life Threatening:

I may or may not have the best body in the group but tell me I am the hottest thing you have ever seen, but not overkill. I know when you are not being honest. Tell me I am beautiful, cooked a fabulous dinner, handled the children correctly, look like I have lost weight, and please don’t ask me to dye or grow out my hair and do a style like another woman you have seen. You married ME, not HER. If you drool over another woman that will not drive me to do better for myself, it will drive me away from YOU. And if you compare me to your mother or sister, expect me to clam up or explode. Just don’t go there! If you wanted mama, you should have married her and don’t tell me I am just like my own mama unless it’s a compliment.

When you correct me on something that is wrong, exercise class and do this in a tender way in private, but please if you are perfectionist, this won’t fly however small or great you think the error is as the fault lies in your inability to be happy with anyone’s best and your list of expectations might be contrary to everything the Word of God says it should be. That’s just called being a jerk with inflated unreasonable expectations.

6. Defend Me: 

Remember when Eve was seduced by the Devil in the garden? Scripture makes it clear she was not in fact alone when she took the fruit and ate it, but that Adam was very close to her during the most critical temptation to sin in all of history …. I am not blaming Adam, however since both of them had the same instruction from their Father to avoid the forbidden fruit, one might contemplate how the whole of mankind and the fall into sin may have been prevented had he come to Eve’s defense and spoken the truth on the spot with less compromise of entertaining a chat with the enemy of their souls. Just say “no” would have been a great motto for that moment  … Genesis 3:6, “When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it.”

On another note, besides someone that may try and harass your lady into sin, what about defending her with someone in the family or your children that are rude to her, or anyone for that matter.  Defend your beloved without losing your temper. Nothing is more degrading than a man that will let his wife be disrespected and will do NOTHING to defend her. This also includes defending our children which are extensions of our very being entrusted to us for rearing in the Word. 

7. Be Tender With Me:

Women LOVE tenderness from a strong man and a soft touch that stops at the point of you men wanting more. Touch my hair, brush my cheek with yours, call me during the day to say “hey baby” and remind me that I am a precious part of your heart. That means also being tender with our children and not yelling at them or being impatient. A great daddy is a big hero to a momma. I don’t care if it’s your spiritual gift or not, or my spiritual gift or not, mercy and kindness are highly appreciated and necessary every single day for us both.

Also the hidden issues of a temperament that could be a problem later need to be discussed early on. I once dated a man that I only found out all to late had a hidden violent temper. It started with a tiny jealous streak he thought he could control, but after awhile, the real Dr. Jeckyll Mr. Hide came out and I was crushed in my heart in the process to learn that I would never be able to truly trust the man. He KNEW he had a temper and never told me the truth before things got out of hand, plus had covered a long history of volatile behavior against woman and authority in general that cost him dearly in the long run. Little did I know he was hiding a dangerous violent side. Don’t you know after that experience, the antenna went up to such a sensitive high level that I can spot a “mean spirit” a hundred miles away. Ladies, DO NOT settle for this and think you can change him. You can’t. Only the Holy Spirit of God can do that. 

For you men, if you have a temper and know it, be extremely honest with yourself, the Holy Spirit, and TELL your woman – get counsel before the marriage takes place, or even if you have married, get help. A temper is nothing to mess around with and getting to the heart of the matter could truly free you from a disaster later.  Tempers can be cured indeed but men unwilling to surrender their right to be angry, honestly, are not in the best shape to marry to begin with – you have to give God the grip on that stronghold. 

8. Be Patient When I Am Hormonal:

Yes, hormones are horrible pests for women at times. Truly there are times we have mood swings that drive us crazy, make us weepy or slap happy, and can alter our entire day beyond our control. If it seems extreme, talk to me carefully and possibly we can get help together on it. Don’t marry a woman who makes you walk around on eggshells cuz hormones will only make it worse … if you tell me your concerns when I am NOT in a hormonal mode, it will fly much better.

9. Say Sorry and Mean It:

When you are wrong say it and get rid of pride, the killer of all peaceful endings, and forgive me when I am wrong too. The greatest love you can show is to forgive especially when that person least deserves it. Grace and mercy go a long way even if it means I accidentally backed the Bentley into the garage door. It’s a CAR not a human, so keep “stuff” less important than human issues. We also need to agree not to hold history over each other’s heads. If we forgive it means don’t bring it up again … if there is a pattern of behavior, that is a different issue, but just to hold something old as new does no one any way but harmful.

10. Take Care Of Your Body:

We want you around awhile. Please don’t hasten the end of your days with poor unhealthy habits. Women out live men the majority of the time and that is so hard to have to face anyway, but to know you won’t take care of your heart, blood pressure, eating habits, waist line, and so on, tells me the message “I don’t care enough to try and I am selfish”.

11. Let ME Define What a Sexy Man is – It’s Not What You Think

a) Helping around the house – a well known pastor’s wife I know mentioned once that when her hubby took out the garbage … she found it sexy. Come on is that easy to do or what? Carry the groceries in, vacuum on occasion,  and we really do love it when you guys put your laundry IN the hamper and not on the floor, which are the smallest of ways that proves thoughtfulness. In fact if you do a load once in awhile, you might just add 1000 points to the love bank just for that seemingly minor action. P.S. don’t mix whites and colors ok? 

b) Playfulness and sharing – take me to the ball game of my choice, let’s go fishing and you handle the worm while I hook the fish, hold my hand on a walk in the park, shop with me for shoes and don’t bark at me for the price tag, share a bite off your plate once in awhile when we are out … you get the idea. 

c) Muscles … we like those … but even a brilliant well thought out quote can exercise the brain muscle and that can be a turn on too. 

d) Open my car door – my dad’s wife sat in the car in the garage for almost 30 minutes one time because he hopped out when they got home and forgot to open her car door. He found her later after a search, still sitting in the care awaiting the polite move she had grown accustomed to, and let me tell you, he hasn’t forgotten since. And you ladies who get offended when a man opens a door for you, NEED to get over it, because the rest of us LOVE it when a man shows respect. It’s respectful, not degrading, to do these things for us. 

e) Dress cool … just do it … it can be comfy but a well dressed guy either in a tailored suit, clean shaven or trimmed beard, or a faded pair of jeans with the right shoes, will absolutely make a chick purrrrrrr. I promise … the clothes do indeed make the man. In turn we will not embrace the frump factor and do only sweats and no make up when you are not around. The rest of the time, I want you to love the way I look. 

12. The Most Important … Make Me #2 Behind God:

I am not equal with our kids, your children from a previous woman, and am not going to compete with your mother or stubborn behavior over anyone else. The institution of marriage on earth is second to our marriage to Christ. That means you honor our relationship first, and then allow others in as a natural part of the levels of importance to follow  …

My hope is that this does not intimidate men, but rather, encourage them, as well as enlighten women as to what would be the viewpoint of another woman who has gathered much in the way of listening to what women “really want” and find that we are not so different from one another. The bond between a man and woman will grow deeply and more secure if we are sincere to choose the right spouse to begin with, in prayer, and honor that commitment until death do us part. 

Seducing Spirits

If one does not study God’s Word and become heavily familiar with it then one will not be able to recognize the doctrine of demons when it’s presented. The enemy of our souls likes to bear a striking resemblance to our Savior … so it may look good at first glance … but give it time and the enemy will give himself away. The key to wisdom with this one is knowing how quickly to recognize that evil twist early in the game before it takes a foothold in one’s life. It’s much easier to back a toe out than it is the whole body, but all the better not go anywhere near it to begin with because one will recognize danger from far off.

If something seems “off” then beware. You don’t have to stick around to see that evil revealed, trust that the Lord is working diligently to protect you from the unseen.

1 Timothy 4:1, “Now the Spirit speaketh expressly, that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith, giving heed to seducing spirits, and doctrines of devils.”

Pain: Healing A Broken Heart

Pain … an amazing tool that can be used as a deterrent to avoid issues that could invite more debilitating heartache, but one that can also lend to stealing our hope and faith in a new venture or relationship. Pain is a tremendous motivator either way to learn a lesson as to the “take away” that we should glean from a tough circumstance of loss or betrayal, or, it can be utilized for tempting us onto the path of revenge.

Year ago I endured a difficult test of my willingness to forgive, when I fell into the trap of a predator and his schemes during some of the prime years of working in ministry. Wet behind the ears, I had no idea that those tiny signs of “something seems off” were actually an enormous shout from the Lord to avoid oncoming danger lying ahead. After all, predators aren’t supposed to lurk in the church and in ministry especially in positions of leadership, so a young and inexperienced person might assume.

In actuality, the avenue of ministry has the highest level of snares and traps set by the evil one of any area we will ever experience. Ministry has enormous rewards that far surpass the deeds of darkness that are present, so the risk is worth it when we enter that path with eyes wide open, Bible knowledge inscribed onto our hearts, and accountability and wisdom of those around us being our greatest buffer against falling for a scheme.

When that still small voice speaks, the is the FIRST sign that needs to heeded. It either means stop and run, or proceed with caution dressed in our full armor of God.

For me, my antenna was fine tuned after I was bitten by the snake and suffered much harm, which has caused my alertness to seeing danger ahead far more sensitive than it ever has been. It was a great lesson and one I will not willingly choose to repeat.  The greatest challenge was not to nurse a grudge over the pursuit of the predator who indeed meant harm.

A deep grudge is undoubtedly burrowed in some type of offense we have taken by an action or words or even developed by witnessing someone else’s suffering whom we love, at the hand of another. On the flip side, we can harbor ill feelings over a perceived action, but made the fool for our assumptions when we discover all to late that we completely misunderstood an action and all along we fed a firestorm of thoughts and words without ever having checked the facts. In my case, I had to forgive the hand behind the masterful set up that was placed before me, and even wrestled with my own ignorance which ushered in the necessary step eventually of forgiving myself.

Even witnessing an action of evil against someone we love can dramatically affect us down the line if we don’t train our brain not to camp on those actions. We have give up our right to the Lord Who is supremely capable of dealing with “the bad guys.”

When that person walked away and broke a vow when we needed them most, when our boss passed us by on the promotional chain, when we are not paid equal wages as women to men or “grunt worker” compared to the executive, when our children suffer immeasurable pain at someone’s bullying, when we are falsely accused, a friend commits suicide, and so many other ways pain could be administered …  in order to heal and be free,  it requires that vital giant step toward maturity called “surrender”.

Surrender the right to get even … forgive them, forgive yourself, surrender the right to dwell on the loss, surrender the right to think it was “about us” to begin with … for if you are a child of God, that offense was aimed at our Savior by the Enemy of our souls, and you were caught in the crossfire.

If Christ can forgive all, and never bring back that offense as a manipulative tool,  than who are we to hold onto anything against another … even if it is ourselves that needs to be forgiven. As my discipling mentor has always reminded me, “we have no right to draw out sin that has been placed under the blood of Jesus.”

Corrie ten Boom explained that sin has been cast into the deepest ocean with a sign on the shore line posted with “no fishing allowed”. Oh how I love that lady and what wisdom I have gained from studying her life.

No, it does not mean that the offender receives the “ok” for what has been done when we release their actions to the Father, that’s a lie from the devil, but it cuts us loose from the “root of bitterness” that Hebrews 12:15 reminds us to avoid, “see to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

But what about the gamut of feelings, the greatest hurdle we have to conquer in any of these settings, that is so vital for our growth and spiritual wholeness? That requires surrender as well.

I will never forget my good friend and Bible Teacher Triss Brakefield quoting this very truth, “emotions serve as incredible slaves, but they make horrible masters?”

It’s the Lord’s job to serve justice indeed, but just remember this … do we want to endure the same level of heaviness on the scales of justice for our sin as we are hoping the Lord will impose on our enemy? I would say “no” … and that letting go in the way of surrender will bring us great freedom and an enormous appreciation for His grace that served us as described in Romans 5:8b, “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

Test after scientific test proves that bitterness and mental pain we have not come to grips with can cause a tumultuous chain reaction in our bodies on the cellular level from hypertension, back pain, ulcers, to strokes. On the other hand, nothing is more glorious than when a person looks us in the eye and forgives us our offenses more than we could ever deserve, loves us unconditionally, entrusts us again with important tasks and a place of favor again. Having been on the receiving end of astounding forgiveness from Christ and from those I have sinned against on this earth, I can no longer look at an offender with distain as I kneel below the cross of Christ in my mind, with His blood droplets dripping down my face, seeing His loving eyes that say, “I am doing this just for you.”

Those three fingers pointing back as I point the accusatory first finger forward are tattooed with “Father, Son, Holy Spirit.”

With emotional pain, it’s incredibly important to place it at the foot of the cross and leave it there, ask Him to break the yoke of slavery to that pain, embrace the grace, and discover that your heart will grow light and free over time. It takes time to work through that process … after all it took three years of ministry to prepare everyone for His crucifixion, a night of betrayal, and all  prior to six hours of torture on a cross, in order to qualify the work done with “it is finished.”

Your identity is not found in their sin against you or your sin you committed against another, rather, it is found in Christ with the renewing of your mind. The cure for bitterness is forgiveness …


broken heart


Screen shot 2014-07-16 at 8.14.09 AMSocial Media Nazies:
1. Grammar Nazi: One who is happy to go on everyone’s page and correct their posts, but never mind their own glaring errors …
2. Blabber Nazi: Those that you never really interact with or may hardly know but are the very ones that monitor the news feed, help themselves to exercise free speech on your’s and everyone else’s page, and are incredibly defensive over nothing with loooong posts of protest!
3. Political Nazi: Did you say you support a political candidate? How dare you! Especially if it’s a conservative one. Oh yah, and they especially hate Sarah Palin.
4. Religion Nazi: One who tries to redefine the Word of God on any posts with Scripture on it. >>> Sorry I don’t think the Creator of the Universe is going to comply with an attempt of twisting His wisdom.
5. Space Invader Nazi: That person that finds you on every social media site, keeps posting on EVERY post you post, friends all your friends, and turns every conversation around to be about themselves.
6. I-Don’t-Have-A-Sense-of-Humor Nazi: People who desperately need to grow a funny bone, and take all jokes and funny posts as an insult.
7. I-Want-You Nazi: The dude that thinks women, married or not, will respond to his suggestive comments and will want to marry him. >>>> GO AWAY PLEASE!
8. Stalker Nazi: That one that you just know is stalking every picture and every little thing that is said … Big Brother is WATCHING … muwaahahaha